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Cards vanquish Communist D-backs, retain EOB heavyweight title

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It was a grueling and blood-drenched four-game series that lasted a total of 40 innings, but in the end the , battered and adorned with a crimson maCrystal Palace’s 2-1 win at Manchester United.Ayew says Palace deserved the three points.Speaking to Palace TV post-match, the player who opened the scoring for the Eagles in the first half discussed the performance: “We are happy; I think we put in sk, mustered a split and thus retained the Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship.

Wait, the “Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship”? What’s that? That’s this:

Since the concept of championship belts is cool in boxing, MMA and sports entertainment (aka pro wrestling), the Eye on Baseball team has decided to create a Heavyweight Championship belt for the 2013 season.

As the defending World Series champions, the Giants entered the season with the strap. From there, here are our rules.

1. A team must win a series from the champion to take the belt. One game isn’t going to cut it, considering it’s a 162-game season and teams all view the season in terms of series.

2. If the belt-holder splits a series (two- or four-game series), it retains. Much like on a draw in boxing or a count-out situation in pro wrestling, you don’t get the belt unless you actually beat the champion. A tie isn’t good enough.

3. If, at the end of the regular season, the belt-holder does not make the playoffs — and due to the dynamics of this thing, that scenario is entirely plausible — said team will be stripped of the title for not qualifying for the postseason. Then the winner of the playoffs — the World Series — takes the belt and the title into the offseason.

The , of course, positioned themselves as Soviet sympathizers prior to the big series in St. Louis, and the Cardinals, right-wise defenders of the American way, did not take kindly. Woade the switch earlier this week.The 29-year-old said the move came about quickly and he did not need think twice about the opportunity.”It’s going to be a new challenge, one I’m very excited to be here for,” Dawson said.”It happened very quickly, thrst of all, the Diamondbacks, as a tribute to Lenin, father of the revolution, at one point attempted to cut the American hair of , who picked up the win and hit his first career homer on Thursday night.

To say the least, Miller, who takes seriously the bedrock values of the Republic and his hair, was aghast at their sinister machinations. After the game, he had some pointed words for the Diamondbacks …

The Diamondbacks also hate Rock and/or Roll.

Now that the Cardinals have survived yet another title defense, they turn their attentions to the hated . Starting Friday, the champs and those Reds will face off in a three-game cage match in Cincinnati. At stake? The Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship.

And now lety Maguire feels they’d be further up the table if not for defensive lapses this season.He would much prefer a few ugly wins and a festive charge that puts United bang in the top-four picture.Ahead of today’s trip to Watford, Maguire admitted: “That’s stroll through the Halls of History and recall how we got here …

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